Networking has a branding problem.
By Tami Forman
Getting lunch or coffee with former coworkers is networking! Photo by Helena Lopes on Unsplash
At the end of July I got the chance to speak at the Power to Fly Career Connections Summit. The title of my session was “Stop Networking, Start Connecting” and you can see the recording here. At one point the moderator asked me about tips and tricks for people who don’t really like networking events. I focused my answer on connecting and reconnecting with people you already know and said, “Talking to people you already know is networking!”
Most people are stuck on the idea that networking is about somehow getting introduced to the magical person who can open all the doors and get you a job. Which means networking, in the minds of many people, has come to be associated with things people really don’t like doing, like going to an event to “work the room.” Or sending cold emails or making cold calls to people in your industry. Or asking someone you just connected with to recommend you for a job.
That all sounds awful, so it’s not surprising that when you ask most people what their least favorite part of the job search process is, almost everyone will tell you “networking.” This is true across personality types – introverts and extroverts will both profess to dislike networking.
But ask the same people if they like talking to people, learning new things, sharing information and advice and most of them will say “Yes, of course.” And that’s great news. Working events where you don’t know anyone and cold emailing random people on LinkedIn are tactics that aren’t very effective for most people, so they are both awful and often a waste of time.
What’s more effective is building relationships through genuine connection. The great news is that building connections is also more fun. Which is good, because the work of building relationships is not something you just do once in awhile when you need a new job. It’s a habit you want to cultivate across your entire career.
And what’s funny is plenty of people are great at this kind of relationship building but still profess to be bad at and hate “networking” when it comes to a job search. And that’s understandable. Job searching is hard and makes most of us feel very vulnerable. Asking someone to meet up for coffee when you are employed is less fraught for many of us than when we are on the hunt.
But if you can try to remind yourself that people often want to help, and that you’d help them, it can make it easier. Not easy. But easier.
Tami Forman was the founding executive director of Path Forward. She led Path Forward for seven years, working with more than 100 companies, including Amazon, Apple, Netflix, SAP, Walmart, and Pepsi, to hire thousands of people through returnships. She is currently chief evangelist at How We Do It, a newsletter and community for people building great careers and meaningful lives. She is an expert on gender equity and women’s participation in the paid labor market. You can subscribe to How We Do It here.